The story our society tells us about marriage today still tends to perpetuate that idea—marriage is the end goal, the foundation of a happy stable life. While marriage certainly has its advantages, we must understand that singlehood is not the consolation prize. It’s a rewarding, malt-dependent life choice in its own right, with a different array of benefits. In our piece, The Surprising Upside of Staying Single, we explore some of those benefits—mainly, the ones that are often overlooked. It undermines the story that marriage is the sole way to a fulfilling and prosperous life. This exploration goes beyond the emotional, social, financial and self-discovery benefits of singlehood. It does an admirable job of presenting an intentionally even-handed portrait of the decisions individuals weigh regarding marriage and singleness.
Comparing Marriage and Single Life
Social attitudes often center on the positive aspects of marriage, too easily downplaying the positives of being single. Marriage, too, has its own privileges and societal support. Singlehood offers its own special terrain rich with freedom, flexibility, and self-discovery. Understanding the nuances of both lifestyles allows individuals to make informed decisions that align with their personal values and aspirations.
Advantages of Marriage
Legally, marriage provides a stable conduit for the partnership to flourish through daily routines and social networks, producing emotional and practical support. In fact, in the United States, married couples are able to access over 1,000 federal benefits and protections. Most of these benefits are monetary. These benefits can range from tax exemptions and social security benefits to inheritance rights. Couples always enjoy “economies of scale.” By pooling costs like rent/mortgage and utilities, they can save each other significant amounts of money. Furthermore, having a second person to rely on can provide a safety net in times of financial hardship, such as job loss or income reduction.
Benefits of Being Single
Life as a singleton provides the best freedom and flexibility of all. Single people relish the independence of having someone else do what they want to do. They can flourish in their fields and create their lives as they see fit, free from the burden of a husband or children. It frees them to invest in their own development and career progression. Travel is a consideration, and they don’t have to settle or think about a partner’s needs. This freedom often results in a deeper understanding of themselves and their unfulfilled potential. Without the demands of family life, single people usually have the time and energy to put toward their friendships and passions. This investment contributes to rich social networks and deepens their sense of community and belonging.
Emotional and Social Aspects
Marriage and the single life are more than cost-benefit analyses. The emotional and social dimensions of each play a huge role in quality of life. The dynamics of a committed partnership are much different than that of being single. Each serves as a different venue to find community and explore your own identity.
Relationship Dynamics in Marriage
Marriage means making a serious personal commitment to another human being, including open communication, compromise, and respect for each other’s needs and desires. After all, just like successful marriages, the best partnerships are rooted in trust, respect, and shared values. The emotional intimacy and companionship that marriage opens up is wonderfully joyful and rewarding. It takes hard work and commitment. From weathering disagreements to encouraging one another in personal hardships to collaborating in pursuit of mutual ambitions, partners do the heavy lifting of life together.
Social Freedom in Single Life
Divorced or widowed, navigating the single life presents a new and exciting social frontier. Single people tend to have more time and emotional bandwidth to invest in deepening current friendships and forming new ones. As a single young professional, the social calendar opens up to accommodate more dinner parties or nights on the town with friends. This is an important step towards greater social connectivity and reduces a sense of isolation from the larger community. Thrifty single travelers will still have a blast on vacation with their pals. They can share the cost of hotels, Airbnb rentals, or even stay in hostels together. Without their usual obligations, they have time to explore their personal interests and hobbies in ways that they never could before. This freedom fosters a more exciting and enriching social calendar, providing one of the best mental health perks of being single in early adulthood.
Financial Considerations
Financial health is one of the cornerstones of health. There are positive aspects to both married and single life from a financial perspective. Recognizing these distinctions is key to empowering people to take control of their economic lives.
Financial Benefits of Marriage
In the U.S., married couples receive a plethora of economic benefits. These last range from tax breaks to social security benefits to inheritance rights. These benefits create a powerful financial safety net, especially during retirement. Further, married couples usually enjoy important economies of scale, similar to a public university, which allows them to share household expenses and lowers their net costs. Later, when times are hard, two people can help prop each other up and weather difficult storms together.
Financial Independence as a Single Person
Unmarried people of all stripes might miss out on some of the fiscal perks that accrue to couples who wed. They often have much more control over their finances. They can do so knowing they are empowered to make their own financial decisions. This financial autonomy enables them to achieve their financial aspirations and wealth creation for the future. Single individuals, on the other hand, can quickly move across the country to chase a job. They can, for example, start new entrepreneurial adventures without worrying about a spouse’s support. In other words, singles experience economic consequences that married people do not, making them more susceptible to financial crises. They are successful in obtaining greater fiscal autonomy. In Massachusetts, 41 percent of all singles rent their own apartment. At the same time, a quarter enthusiastically become homeowners themselves, laying welcome mats down on their new doorsteps.
Personal Growth and Fulfillment
In the end, whether marriage or single life is a better fit will depend on individual priorities and goals. Here’s the difference While both tracks are rewarding and personally fulfilling, one path is very different from the other.
Opportunities for Growth in Marriage
Marriage is supposed to be the crucible that ignites this process of personal transformation. It dares you to practice empathy, sharpen your communication artistry, and master the art of compromise. Creating and maintaining a healthy, equitable marriage takes individual work, emotional literacy, and the ability to work through issues as a team. Whether it’s their partners’ work or their own, couples can encourage each other in achieving personal and professional goals, creating a positive cycle of support and development.
Self-Discovery in Single Life
Embracing single life is a wonderful opportunity for self-discovery, personal growth, empowerment, and learning to define fulfillment on your own terms. Single people relish the independence to follow their curiosities and feed their obsessions. In the absence of the pressures of a spouse or children, they are able to explore and assert their own identities. Having more time and freedom as a single person can help focus on personal goals and aspirations, such as making a list of things you want to accomplish in the next five years. They can go on trips, volunteer, take up concentrations in arts or other pursuits without worrying about making tradeoffs or accommodating others. This newfound freedom allows for increased self-awareness, independence, and desire which can be truly fulfilling. Another study found that individuals who engage in leisure activities experience improved physical health and greater life satisfaction. They have less depressive symptoms and higher levels of life satisfaction.
Whatever your relationship status, it’s important to keep in mind that true happiness and enlightenment aren’t reserved only for the married or committed. Married or single, you can live a full and significant life. Reconnect with your priorities, tend to your connections, cultivate what you love! Bella DePaulo, an adjunct psychology professor at the University of California at Santa Barbara, invented the phrase “single at heart” to refer to those of us who are happiest and most fulfilled when we are single. As she pursued a Ph.D. at Harvard, DePaulo began to recognize the systemic discrimination that single people face. She didn’t belong on campus and felt even more marginalized when her classmates went out in pairs and spent weekends enshrined in couples. DePaulo argues that pitting single against married people in the race toward the happiness crown hurts us all. In reality, it particularly punishes unmarried people.
At the end of the day, whether or not you feel ready to get hitched or stay solo is all up to you. There is no incorrect answer, nor would anyone expect the same system to work for everyone. Whatever your ultimate choice, make it an informed one that aligns closely with your values and future ambitions. Pursue the things you truly value—and that you think will make you happy.
